"The flesh shapes the day and the day shapes the flesh!" Spittle torpedoed from the instructress's quivering lip into Angus's rib-eye. "THIS IS HERESY!!! Only the one and supreme God may shape our days and our flesh. He is the reason we have numbered days, and if you are not careful, Angus Beef, he may scorch your fat self off this earth for your lack of faith!" Livery spots jiggled on the excess flesh on the lady's bony finger as she prodded Angus's fat-encoated cheekbones. Angus would wince if he weren't transfixed by the fact that the instructress did not even seem to be looking at him. One of her eyes jutted out so that her iris appeared to be staring at Eritria. It always seemed to be scrutinizing the raven beauty..."THAT'S IT! I'M HAVING YOU HANGED!"
Angus jerked away from her jabbing finger. "What?!"
"OH NOW YOU LISTEN! WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE YOU BROTHER, GROUND!!!! AT LEAST HE DOESN'T ALWAYS HAVE HIS HEAD IN THE CLOUDS!"
Angus vaguely wondered, yet again, what was wrong with his parents. His dad's name was Hank Beef, and his mom's name was Martha Beef. Why couldn't they have just gifted their children with less...unusual... names!? All the bullying made his feelings tender and raw...and juicy. Wait, what!? What was he thinking! The teacher was still threatening to kill him!
"GROUND BEEF IS SUCH A NICE YOUNG BOY!"
Blah blah blah, why did her voice have to be so annoying? He had better thoughts to think...
In fact, he was thinking them right now. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that his thoughts empowered him to do everything he was doing. It was through his thoughts that he could manipulate reality. It was through his thoughts that he could create vast new worlds yet unexplored and possibly unexplorable. The only logical conclusion with the inheritance of all this deific potency was...yes...HE IS A GOD.
"Angus, stop crying. This is embarrassing. And take off those stupid elf ears."
"yes mam." His meaty hands groped for the elfish ears, knocking them over from their precarious perch. They landed on the floor with a sickening squelch. The instructress' black pumps came down on the ears with an ear-shattering CLACK. Her pearly-whites flashed like a freshly-sharpened butcher knife.
Angus did not want to cry. No, no he was not going to cry!!! Don't lose control. Don't lose control. Don't lose control... Whimper.
Hearing the nigh-inaudible cry of pain, the instructress leaned in close and personal with Angus. Her jutting eye rolled unerringly to continue its devoted relationship with Eritria.
Perhaps Angus could leap out the window right now! Yes! He could go around the teacher using his boar-like agility, sticking his pork leg gracefully out and smashing the window, and slide down the lamp post. His gigantic rumpus should cushion the fall! Or maybe he could cast a gypsy spell. His best friend he had met on the Internet was fond of Gypsy magic. Or she would be, if his society had free, non-government- censored internet. All he knew on the topic of gypsy magic and friendship was from a few old videos his grandpa had given him before he was slaughtered for being too old and useless to society. He barely even knew the guy. Heaven knows why he gave him movies based on Communistic Colt Consortia.
For heaven's sake, he lived in FREEMAN, the land of the free man! His grandfather had no right to be subtly imposing iconoclastic ideas into his grandson's mind through blaspheming ponies!!! And this INSTRUCTRESS had no right to deny him the liberty of his own ideas!!! IT WAS NO LIE THAT FLESH SHAPES THE DAY, AND THAT DAY SHAPES THE FLESH!!! WHEN THE SUN SETS AND THE MOON RISES, DO NOT ALL AGE??? AND DOES NOT MAN CREATE HIS OWN DESTINY, THROUGH HIS OWN ILL-BEGOTTEN FREE WILL HE HAD OBTAINED AS A GIFT FROM GOD!!!
He turned to face the instructress. Her mouth opened like a factory door and bellowed,
He gladly left.
Strutting past the rusting lockers and leaky ceilings, he felt quite proud of himself. Not only had he withstood the bigotry of his lesson-giver, he had also adequately represented his own illicit beliefs to a lesser figure in the overbearing government institutions. He was like George Washington. Or that schoolteacher that said, "Give me liberty or give me death!" Yep. He was a boss.
But the fact remained that despite his resistance, he was still in trouble and everything was still under the control of the repressive government corporation. His grandfather had told him of a time when government was of the people, by the people, for the people.
Now it was "of God, by God, for God." Who was this God person anyway? And why did he deserve so much adulation?
This God character let Satan nearly break Job, who was one of his most faithful servants, had Abraham nearly sacrifice his only son because he was "testing him," and GAH. It seems that God even had the temerity to mock him! He said in Genesis 22:2: "Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of." Seriously? Thine only son, whom thou lovest? And poor Abraham, knowing the consequences of fighting the power, humbly submitted.
As he continued trotting to the principal's office, Angus's thoughts u-turned to the time when he had come to the conclusion that he was a God. Was he so cruel as well? Could it be? Was he no better than the fictional character he had come to detest?
His grandfather had once told him, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely." So where does that leave God? Do all Gods eventually become Devils?
Angus recalled every time he had watched a kid push another down. He remembered every pair of broken glasses, every bloody nose, every bruise, both visible and invisible. He remembered the girl who was beaten by her father on a daily basis.To escape, she turned to drugs. The drugs relieved more of the pain than God ever did. He remembered the teacher who told the student that her life amounted to nothing. He remembered her short obituary in the school newspaper. He remembered what he did to stop it. Nothing. He was just like God. God also did nothing.
This fact made him feel like swine.
The higher the pedestal, the harder the fall, and God's pedestal was all the way up in heaven. It was time for "God's government" to collapse under its own weight.
If he was a God, as he had previously proven with logic, then so was everyone else with some imagination. If everyone was a God, then everyone deserved a voice in government, not just one God. Therefore, God equals the people. Therefore government should be of the people, by the people, for the people.
yeah sure. Well, if his conclusions were correct, then the logical place to begin rectifying the system would be in the classrooms. BACK TO CLASS!!!
As Angus padded back to class, he walked by a girl chanting incantations and weaving fingers laced with ribbons and shiny gold plastic with fake jewels. Her purple zumba skirt wrapped around what looked like four cheap pillowcases sewed together. The shiny gold coins sparkled as she agitatedly quaked with animated croons, descants, and warbles. Her dark eyes rolled to the back of her head.
Angus decided to stop staring. That was rude.
He just increased his padding to a faster traipsing, and avoided the silly broad.
Was his class always this far away? This was taking forever!!! UGH!!!!!!!!
He should've asked that sweet thing he walked by to carry him. She looked like a strong bovine. Probably had some growth hormones too. That made her All-American. Putting growth hormones into moxie is illegal in Europe.
She was probably from Texas too. Everyone knows everything is bigger in Texas. Angus wished he was from texas; maybe then he'd have an excuse for being so- oh hey look he's here.
His thought process must be really slow. That brisk walk took about an hour and all he could think about was that girl. And even then, he didn't think that much about her...
Oh gross, he's all sweaty!!!
He opened that classroom and...it was empty.
The soul-sucking vacuum gaped like a hoofbeast confronting a disgraced bloody bovine carcass purged of its innards. Angus recoiled from the stench pervading his overactive imagination, and realized he was hungry. He could really go for a hamburg- oh hey. Who's this?